Big sigh of relief....

“There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.”
- George Santayana

I tried my darndest to write this on my actual birthday but there was not enough time. I think it’s appropriate that I write a self-encompassing blog article on a day that is all about me. This birthday happens to be 21, which happens to be a huge door opener in the social world.  I won’t pretend I haven’t been waiting on the edge of my metaphorical seat for this one. 

Always the little artist

Almost every person I’ve talked with says “This birthday will be the last you are excited for… its all down hill from here.”  This has inspired me to shove it to all those miserable birthday boys and girls who no longer celebrate, but dread their birthday.  Just like anything in life, you can’t control the cards you are dealt (cliché)… all you can control is how you play them.  You can’t postpone the decades to come (unless you are a character from Twilight).  All you can do is control the way you feel about it. Blah blah blah.. … “Life is too short to waste” “Life is a gift”  “With age comes wisdom” All I think is that I don’t want to spend any one of my birthdays in regret.   It’s the one day a year that is all about you, the day that you can get away with pretty much anything, the day that the people you love express how unconditionally they love you and why.   On this day every year, I will strive to appreciate everything that has come with the passing year.  

So thank you 20 for;

Experiences-

            Since my 20^th birthday I’ve:  -gone skydiving  -completed 2 straight semesters with a 4.0GPA (nerd alert)  -learned to cook adequately -learned acrylic painting  -thoroughly widened my Italian vocabulary    -visited Korea and ridden a motorbike across Bali 

Perspective-

Anyone who knows me will snort in confirmation when I say that I am opinionated. But I always try to maintain perspective and have always been a huge advocate of truth telling.  I’ve found that brick walls exist solely to remind you of how much you want something.  Confidence and perseverance are the keys to strength and to happiness.  I am most definitely a woman…  and I wouldn’t change it for anything... even if it is a little more complicated than being a member (no pun intended) of the alternative gender.  I’ve found that people who embrace and seek out change are the best kind of people.

Strengthened friendships-

 not only have I been blessed with amazing home-town friends who will never stop caring about me, but I’ve also strengthened awesome friendships here in SB.   I’ve found that you can find truly amazing people just about anywhere you go. 

Every person in my life went above and beyond for my birthday this year.  Thank you so much to all my beautiful wonderful sexy friends and my loving caring self-sacrificing family. 

farmers daughter at 1

I’ll end this article with one of my favorites quotes.  Though it may not be profound, it speaks volumes about being a woman and for some reason seems very birthday-ish to me…

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” –Marylin Monroe

P.S.  I was randomly searching for information regarding my date of birth and came across this crazy website.  It isn’t so much zodiac sign info but if you enter your birthday it tells you what you are like because of the day you were born.  I don’t think I’m imagining things when I say mine describes me eerily accurately! If you know me, or even been following this blog at all I’m sure you’ll agree.

http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/ProcessBirthdayAnalysis.cfm

Your Birthday of: February 1, 1991

Within you is a powerful ambition to do something worthwhile in life, to contribute to the improvement of the general conditions of humanity, and to be responsible for constructive change and advancement.
 

Your purpose is to seek truth and to comprehend the principles that govern life. Through application of these principles, you could develop self-discipline and self-education to rise above self-centredness and self-opinion, and to become a builder and leader along creative mental lines. Within your potential is originality, ingenuity, and versatility to investigate new ideas and theories, and new meanings to life that would ensure progress.
 

You would work best alone, unrestricted, using your self-reliance and love of freedom to answer the call of adventure, to promote your efforts, and to lead and create for others. If you learn to understand the heart and mind of others, to work with people in harmony, and to give generously, you would fully express your potential. You would balance your independent, self-sufficiency by developing charity and humanitarian principles. Justice for all people should be your ideal so that many may benefit from your contributions.
 

Constructive action and accomplishment require discipline of emotion and desire. Learning to focus and to finish what you start would build pride of accomplishment and eliminate frustration and feelings of repression. The boundless energy within you should be channelled into constructive, active pursuits and intellectual exploration to avoid feelings of restlessness and turmoil. 
 

Within you is a kinship to the freedom of nature and the out-of-doors. You would enjoy the exhilaration of challenging nature through physical activities such as hiking, canoeing, or mountain climbing, or just peacefully observing and analysing the beauty and harmony, and the scientific principles expressing in the natural environment.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Mitt and Newt can kiss my ass! WARNING: This post contains violent language and imagery

India

Israel

This is what pisses me off about Republicans... 3 of 4 candidates said they would support NASA and CUT foreign aid... even in Israel... one of our biggest allies... because foreign countries have supposedly become "dependent" on our help... SCREW YOU you fucking selfish entitled pricks.   Israelis are NOT lazy and dependent on our help… their people are motivated and involved.  Every citizen of Israel, man and woman, serves 2 years in the army.  They know patriotism better than their counterparts here in the U.S.   They are not weak.   If you have the means to help the impoverished why in the hell wouldn't that be high on your list of priorities.  And don't talk to me about preserving our country first and foremost and saving it from debt… we got ourselves into this mess… does that mean we should repossess all of our assets and stop helping.  They argue that the nation is built on perseverance and the right to choose our own path… the right to freedom…  of equal opportunity… BUT  we don’t participate in foreign aid and we should completely pull out of the UN??  The Republicans are basically admitting, “we are a selfish people and would rather invest in being the first to colonize the moon than to be part of aid in suffering countries."   FUCK YOU STUPID ENTITLED ASS HOLES.   By comparison, the American people are NOT suffering.  We’ve lossed jobs and modern conveniences and yes the government needs some major organization and re-distribution of assets. BUT every 5 seconds, somewhere in the 3^rd world, a child dies of hunger.  How is it moral, how are we a country of strength and means when we sit here, with our shopping malls and our space travel, and say “we’ve helped enough…” ??? It is a global world and we cannot pull out of the United Nations because we owe money to China… REEVALUATE you priorities, your morals, and your goddamn selves and figure this shit out.   Romney and Gingrich need to stop wasting our time arguing like teenage girls over non-issues.   Yes, everyone should have the right to practice their own religion.  I agree that basic morality often stems from religion.  But when Christians say "praying for the hungry is better than feeding them," I can't help but think that their priorities are majority skewed. No candidate should be a front-runner because of his dedication to the church but his dedication to HUMANITY... it's that simple.  

If this bothers you... you are still human. 

There should be MORE involvement by every single one of us.  Why do we pick up tabloids and ignore current events.  My generation (and even some before me) are lost… we are like smog… we are making no substantial arguments or changes and we don’t even have opinions… and if we do they are based on frivolity… we are just populating the earth and polluting the planet and not doing any good elsewhere.


3rd world countries have the resources that the 1st world countries have always striven to control.  How are they supposed to develop when, first they were colonized and controlled, and now wars are being waged over who can control their resources.  And when you think about it, we are directly responsibly for their lack of water.  Desertification, which is happening at the rate of 24,000 square miles a year or so (and which by the way is irreversible), is happening because we use precious water to water our damn lawns and give to our damn over abundance of livestock.  The lack of water in Sudan is caused by our sprinklers for fuck's sake.  3rd worlds are not so because they are LAZY, they are so because we (in the Global North) have oppressed them and over used their resources in every day life.  We are all guilty.  And we can never be released from unless we dedicate our lives to the cause and completely give up modern conveniences... (I know that I will probably never do so).  But at least we can be aware of our impact, make others aware, change small things in the way we live, and vote for a President who will not only want to improve America, but unite the world for a more humanitarian cause.  

Alright alright, I'm not necessarily a bleeding heart liberal.  There are some liberal opinions that I don't agree with because for me they are too optimistic in general about human nature.   I am and have always been, however, a humanitarian through and through.  Being considered a naive soap-boxer is better than ignoring everything that my heart body and soul screams to me when I watch these debates and compare them to the issues of other countries.  I just don't think there should be a child dying every 5 seconds of hunger when we have Costcos in every town.

I try not to claim allegiance to any political parties in general because their one-sided attitudes make me nervous and uncomfortable and seem to start unnecessary conflict.  I am more in favor of the Democratic party simply because of their position on foreign aid.   The world needs changing… not just the U.S.  If someone has the power to change the world it is the President of a world power.  Peace in the Middle East is based on the support and defense of Israel and it’s right to exist.   Not pulling out of the U.N. when money gets tight.  

I hope everyone I know will try to follow the debates and the issues.  I know it’s tough, especially when fickle hearted candidates are contradicting themselves by answering questions differently.  Our responsibility as Americans is not to frontier colonization of the moon  but to HUMANITY and the care of the less fortunate.  As such, let's pump some blood back into this economy and get running again so we can make changes.  

Sudan

Bali by Honda

Alright... time to finish the Bali story before birthday events come to pass and I can't remember anything within the drunken haze that will be the next 3-5 months.

  After being shuttled along the path of conformity, we finally followed through with our motorbike idea!  50,000 rupees (5$) to rent a bike for 24 hours.   It was so exhilarating to have the freedom to go and stop and speed and honk and see literally everything.  The next few days were spent zooming all over the island.  We went to the south beach of Sanur, and attempted to brave the hustle of busy Kuta and Nusa Dua (the party towns of Bali).  It took us 4 hours to travel from Ubud, over the majestic volcano and to the Northern beaches.  We saw the real, untouched Bali where swarms of monkeys hang out and farm workers pile on the backs of tiny trucks, and where everyone seems to exist in perfect harmony with their surroundings (cliche but true).  

We spent one of the top rated nights of my life at the Jazz bar.  Where a local Balinese band played Latin music (my favorite) and a few wild Australians danced the salsa.  I thought to myself; dammit, I live in California and don’t know how to salsa. Thus spawned my resolution to take dancing classes this year.  Besides the point. 

Note:  Never try to be audacious by ordering palm wine… you will be disappointed… and hammered simultaneously.  And yes it is possible if only in the case of palm wine.  Rice wine on the other hand… not half bad. 

The Road to Bali (or the crossing of half the world’s ocean and the entire continent of Asia to Bali) was without a doubt as incredible as I could have hoped.  But the adventures have just begun. 

Now life has settled down to pretty much the ordinary… as ordinary as life can be in the beautiful Santa Barbara area.  I love my friends, miss my family, hope to live every day to the fullest and blah blah blah more optimistic crap.  Really I'm just incredibly stoked to turn 21, meet new people, go new places and strengthen my existing relationships.  

Bali continued...

Day 2 in Bali was Jesse's birthday.  So we decided to do be touristy and ride elephants.  Elephants are awesome... still my favorite.  But riding elephants who live in a prison... AWFUL! Just as bad as seaworld and the zoo (two institutions I loathe to their very core).  "Well the elephants are rescued" ("or bred in captivity").  So that pissed me off... money hungry locals extorting poor Sumatran elephants for cheap entertainment.  They are so incredibly smart... you can tell right away.  I felt guilty for participating but at the same time they are so majestic it was hard not to smile.

Back at our home stay Ketut had a Traditional Balinese dinner for all of the guests.  We made good friends with an older couple from Holand.  One of the first things we realized in Bali was that the people are warm and welcoming.  Upon meeting you, tourists and locals alike will try to get you to tell them your life's story.  This is mainly because the tourists are often Australian and Dutch (the French were less affectionate).  The Balinese, however, need to place you.  They need to know where you are from, where you are staying, and where you are going.  It seems invasive at first to we self-involved Americans.  But after a while you realize that they just want to know who you are and what you are like.  And location for them is everything.  

The next day was pleasantly low key.  We stayed in during the mid-day rain.  In early afternoon some Australian friends we made took us with them to an art museum for the day...Whatever... The highlight was that afterwards we went to the most amazing rib joint ever.  (Side-note: I strayed extensively from my previously vegan diet).  On the wall was a bitingly witty sign that made me both laugh and redden with shame; 

Upon arriving in Bali we heard that Eat Pray Love had attracted many a western woman to Bali.  I felt so mortified as my idea to go to Bali sprung directly from the text.  I'm yet another Liz Gilbert.  It only sucks because what I fear most is conforming to a specific type of personality.  Which is exactly what I was doing.  The western woman who can't stand one more disappointment when it comes to men.  I've already eaten in Italy.  I skipped India.  But Bali is off the checklist too.  God I can be so predictable.  

The two days after that I will mention only briefly as they were the days I most regret.  We got sucked into taking a guided tour (which we thought was just a rented driver for the day).  We did see a lot.  However, it was under the supervision of our driver Wayan.  He took us to every imaginable tourist trap.  Granted, I was grateful to see the temples.  I was not grateful to be bombarded at every corner with profoundly persistent hawkers.  You learn fast to give the "f*** off I don't want any sarongs" look as soon as they see you approaching.  It was frustrating because we came to Bali to be out of our element and to be immersed in culture even if it meant drowning in it.  We didn't want our metaphorical parents to make us wear floaties and tell us to stay out of the deep end.    But hey, you learn quick. 

The temples were incredible.  But the holy pools were by far my favorite.  The attitude of the Balinese (tourists were not allowed to bathe) was such as the attitude in an American public pool.  However, rather than kids splashing around gayly, it was adults and children alike.  They were eager because of the nature of the bath.  The Balinese highly covet beauty; beauty of the face, of the mind, of the attitude.  The most important thing to be is happy even in the midst of sorrow.  You could see this was pure happiness.  That was when I felt closer to God.  

There are 4 names in Bali for both men and women; Wayan, Mode, Nyoman, and Ketut.
Meaning the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child.  At 5 it starts over.  They love to know where they stand. 

The coffee plantations were fun because of the boys we met; Mode and Wayan.  It was evident on their faces that they were excited to meet Americans.  "I love All American Rejects.  In my dreams I go to America,"- Mode.  I will say Balinese boys exude charm.  

Planes, trains and automobiles... and elephants and motorbikes.

 So it is a new year and for some reason people made a big fuss about it.  I just closed my eyes and clenched my teeth the night of as my age still conflicts with desired activities.  Rather, I celebrated the commencement of the last month of waiting until my 21st birthday.  Exciting stuff.  The reason I mention New Years is merely because I think this blog might be some sort of resolution (not that I make resolutions just because it is January 1st).  However, I've been reflecting lately and a blog seems like a great way to keep track.  That is if I can keep track of a blog.  But, I do need an outlet.

I suppose I'll make this post about winter break.  Which has been damn satisfying.  Practically two days after finals Jesse and I were off to Bali.  We had just up and planned it a few months before when Jesse came to visit SB.  It was relatively impulsive (our decision to up and fly to a country half way around the world) based partly on my going stir crazy having stayed in one town for over a year, and Jesse's desire to get to as many countries as he can before 30 or something.  In college you meet plenty of people who want to see the world.  But what we found we had in common was that we were both motivated enough to just plain make it happen.  So we did.  And we waited.  And it came.

It was one hell of a struggle getting over there.  Nuff said. 

After 13 hours of flight, I was glad to be grounded in just about any country.  But I will say Korea was awesome.  Seoul was a bustling city and everyone seemed to be well dressed.  Random but true.  We meandered downtown for the day until our next flight.  If we look chilly in the pictures it's because we WERE.






Our first day in Bali may have been my favorite.  Our B&B was in Ubud at Ketut's place.  After a delicious fix of what became our routine breakfast (pineapple pancakes and coffee) we were off to see the most culturally Balinese town in Bali.  We walked.  We walked a lot.  The morning's humidity had us soaking through our clothing.  After wandering through shops and by temples we stopped for our first Balinese meal at Cafe Lotus.  True Indonesian food.  And beer.  Of course.  We decided to walk walk walk some more.  We got happily lost in the rice terraces where we had a few colorful encounters.  There was the coconut lady, the Australian couple, the farmer man, and the fire ants.

Balinese women carry everything by noggin. 

But the most beautiful thing about that day was the rain.  A sudden torrential downpour while we were walking back from the rice terraces.  It was so freeing not to care that I was getting soaked.  It wasn't a cold rain, nor was it particularly warm.  It was just perfect.  It energized and uplifted my spirit.  I didn't have to care about anything other than what I was feeling in that moment.  Perfect contentedness with everything around me.  We ran past rural family compounds until we reached town and trudged our way through the flooded streets to our home-stay.  The material of our clothing clung to our skin.  

After showers, rest, and reflection, we headed to dinner at the coveted Three Monkeys cafe where we had Tapas and Pina Coladas (fusion style food is a common theme in Balinese restaurants).   Upon our return we were passing an important Hindu ceremony (one of many in fact).  Hundreds of by standers and participants alike.  Clanking bells and interminable songs.  Men walking on long sticks, women with stacks of offerings on their heads.  An enchanting end to the night.  

Balinese ceremonies and rituals are as frequent as every hour.   Hinduism rituals are extensive and intricate.  It is a complex but incredibly beautiful religion.